How to Change Your Money Story

What Is A Money Story?

Before you can rewrite your money story, you must first identify what it is. A money story is the subconscious narrative you live that affects how you relate to and work with money. It contains everything you believe about making, keeping, spending, sharing and saving money. In many ways, your money story is both a product of childhood conditioning and an ever-evolving story. Messages from parents, friends and cultural narratives shape subconscious patterns around what is “okay” to feel, say and do with finances. It’s also true that some of your financial beliefs are patterns you developed on your own. The bad news is your money story runs like an inner financial dialogue that often sabotages your conscious intentions. The good news is that once you know you have one, you can begin rewriting it consciously and by design.

What Does Your Money Story Currently Say?

If you could sit down and have a direct conversation with your money story, what would you ask and how would it respond? Your current money story contains various messages that tell you who you are when it comes to money. Spend some time really digging into the answers, such as how you feel about the following: 

• What did my parents and caregivers say about money? 
• Is it something to be scared of or empowered about? 
• Are there any messages about my worthiness, goodness or ability to manage money? 
• Do I value money or denigrate it?  
• Do I have beliefs about what’s “okay” or “not okay” to spend money on? 
• Do I link wealth to good or bad values like greed, stinginess, laziness or generosity? 
• How do I feel when I spend money vs. when I save? 
• Do I have strong emotions or beliefs around borrowing or debt? 

Journal out any strong emotions or money patterns you discover that go against your goals. For example, maybe you feel a lot of guilt around spending money, or see money as an excuse for selfishness. Look at your inner money dialogue–what kinds of self-talk do you hear when handling money? Phrases that start with “I can never…”, “I’m not good with…” or “money is bad” tell you a lot about the subconscious story operating. You may want to write down what you find and question any core beliefs that do not serve you. Identifying what you currently believe is the first step in rewriting your money story.

Recognize the Influence of Childhood

Our relationship with money is often the product of early childhood experiences. Family narratives and observations of financial behaviors, such as how parents spent or saved, created core financial beliefs in our minds. If you grew up in a household where money was scarce or created conflict, it’s likely you feel anxious around it. A household that overly controlled every penny might lead to oversaving or risk aversion in your beliefs. For good or bad, there is a money story inside all of us from childhood observations and early conditioning. Some specific questions to explore are: 

• How did I experience money growing up in childhood? 
• Did my parents fight about money? 
• Did money bring out the best or worst in people around me? 
• Were my family and caregivers careful savers or spenders? 
• Were we very frugal or extravagant?  
• Were we generous or stingy?  
• Is my current money story the result of a mindset modeled by my parents? 

A few questions that will help you get into the root of early experience. In many ways, we have to look to the past if we want to build a better future. However, there is no need to feel guilty about what was programmed into you growing up. It only matters that you gain awareness of it in the present and understand its impact on you now.

Challenge and Change Your Money Scripts

You now have to interrogate and start rewriting any money scripts you don’t like from the previous exercises. Most core beliefs around money in many people’s minds are dysfunctional, out of date or programmed in as fear. Phrases like “money is bad”, “I can never have enough money”, “rich people are greedy” and “only scumbags are successful” are common limiting money stories in many people. A crucial step in the rewriting process is asking yourself: “Is this really true?” You then counter such money beliefs with a true one that empowers you to break them. For example, you can counter “money is bad” with “money is just a tool, it’s the intentions behind its use that matter”. It’s important to be intentional, repeated and genuine when programming new money scripts into your subconscious. Think of the money story as an actor, being taught new lines to play on cue. Build in enough repetition to get the new lines to stick before the next step in the process.

The Psychology of Money Behavior

One of the reasons that your money story can be so resistant to change is that most people’s relationship with money is largely psychological. Overspending, for example, is less a conscious decision and more a consequence of poor behavior by someone who has a subconscious narrative that drives their behavior. You can break down financial behavior into key psychological drivers like fear, shame, pride, impatience, desperation or validation. When you sit with this truth that “money is never just about the money”, you find ways to manage your emotions when spending or earning. For example, there are always external scripts like money videos or even affirmations that drive poor financial behaviors. Building internal literacy around the psychology of money is one of the most powerful ways to change your financial narrative for the better.

Redefine Financial Success and Value

One of the most common things that stops people from rewriting their money stories is an attachment to external measures of value and success. For some people, “success” is completely defined in their minds by net worth. The average person defines success by income, not meaning or impact. The point of rewriting your money story is to try to get at what true financial health or abundance means. You will have to get quite specific on what money means to you: is it the flexibility of never worrying about money again, total financial security or impact you can create by giving and spending. Separating your value from the money in your bank account is a key step in financial empowerment. You’ll be able to focus on your goals and not be swayed by someone who has $2 million on paper but lives in a constant state of comparison and validation, never enjoying financial freedom.

Change Your Habits to Match Your New Story

Rewriting your money story is not just a mental exercise–it’s a behavioral one as well. If you want to get tangible change in your financial life and your emotions about money, it has to start with action and habit. Your money story is revealed through the way you handle money every day. The way you save, spend and make money should be in line with your new scripts and beliefs. For example, if you believe in taking action, instead of merely wishing for wealth, you will take action to align your money habits with your new story. The first way to do that is by automating small positive financial behaviors like automatic savings, expense tracking and regular investing. From there you can build small rituals around your new financial beliefs, such as a weekly money check-in or a monthly budget review. Get to a place where your new story and beliefs match your behavior. The new stories and beliefs that you have added to your subconscious are only true if you act on them in real life. It’s only then you will feel the change in your financial story.

Financial Education and Literacy

One of the greatest truths of all time when it comes to rewriting your money story is the importance of knowledge and financial literacy. For a lot of people, lack of understanding about how money works is the subconscious driver of bad financial behaviors, leading to fear. A fear of not having enough money, overspending or being in debt. Money has a real emotional impact and a lack of control over the future. The antidote to this fear is to take the time to learn and educate yourself about financial literacy. Books, courses, videos and other forms of content are available to you to learn money skills like budgeting, investing, getting out of debt and more. The more empowered you become by financial literacy, the less your money story and beliefs can control you. You’ll slowly find ways to manage your emotions when spending or earning money. This will lead to you doing a better job at balancing your emotions with financial reason.

Practice Gratitude and Abundance

A big part of financial stress, anxiety and mental clutter is a scarcity mindset, or the fear that “there is never enough”. Focusing on gratitude and an abundance mindset is the antithesis of that thinking, leading to you building a better money story. One of the best things to do to rewrite your money story is to simply acknowledge and appreciate what you have. Is it a stable income? Family and friends who care about you? Access to opportunities and education? By cultivating gratitude for what you have, you are able to create a mindset where you are open to receiving more. In many ways, scarcity and fear of “not having enough” in many people’s minds are what leads to bad financial decisions. Gratitude and an abundance mindset leads to you doing a better job at balancing your emotions with financial reason.

Financial Healing and Release

The greatest truths of all time when it comes to rewriting your money story is the importance of knowledge and financial literacy. For a lot of people, lack of understanding about how money works is the subconscious driver of bad financial behaviors, leading to fear. A fear of not having enough money, overspending or being in debt. Money has a real emotional impact and a lack of control over the future. The antidote to this fear is to take the time to learn and educate yourself about financial literacy. Books, courses, videos and other forms of content are available to you to learn money skills like budgeting, investing, getting out of debt and more. The more empowered you become by financial literacy, the less your money story and beliefs can control you. You’ll slowly find ways to manage your emotions when spending or earning money. This will lead to you doing a better job at balancing your emotions with financial reason.

Financial Positivity and Influences

The final truth you need to know when it comes to rewriting your money story is about the importance of environment and community. Our beliefs are greatly affected by the people and culture we are exposed to. If we look at the toxic narratives many people’s financial stories, it comes from an unhealthy financial culture, both personal and in the wider world. An example would be looking at the social media culture where many people are glorifying a spend now, pay later culture. A culture of chasing the green would have a positive impact on anyone’s finances who has a scarcity mindset. The community, people and even the media we expose ourselves to greatly affects how we do or don’t manage money. It is very important to actively curate and choose what you expose yourself to. To change your money story, you need to surround yourself with people and a culture that preaches positivity, growth, responsibility and empowerment.

Money Purpose and Alignment

A crucial point you need to realize when rewriting your money story is that it’s not just about wealth building, but also about your purpose and values. True financial freedom and security comes when the way you make and handle money is an expression of your highest self. One of the most common things that stops people from rewriting their money stories is an attachment to external measures of value and success. For some people, “success” is completely defined in their minds by net worth. The average person defines success by income, not meaning or impact. The point of rewriting your money story is to try to get at what true financial health or abundance means. You will have to get quite specific on what money means to you: is it the flexibility of never worrying about money again, total financial security or impact you can create by giving and spending. Separating your value from the money in your bank account is a key step in financial empowerment. You’ll be able to focus on your goals and not be swayed by someone who has $2 million on paper but lives in a constant state of comparison and validation, never enjoying financial freedom.

Money Story Continual Growth

One of the most important things you need to realize when it comes to rewriting your money story is that it’s an ever-changing and evolving process. Changing your money story is something that happens over time, not overnight. As your life and circumstances change, so do the money beliefs, patterns and challenges you face. It is therefore crucial that you engage in continual reflection on the state of your money story as well as improvement. Schedule regular money check-ins to review your financial progress and goals. Stay open and curious, ready to learn new skills and adapt to challenges. Don’t be discouraged by setbacks–know that in many ways, rewiring and rewriting your financial beliefs is something you need to continually do throughout your life. The more you are in tune with your emotions when making money decisions, the better you can manage yourself around money.

Conclusion

Your money story is only as powerful as you allow it to be. The subconscious narratives, beliefs and patterns you have around money do not have to hold you in the same patterns and financial circumstances. Changing your money story is a step by step process, of awareness, reprogramming and consistent action. Identifying your current money story, challenging dysfunctional beliefs and building new financial habits. The greatest truth of all time when it comes to rewriting your money story is the importance of knowledge and financial literacy. For a lot of people, lack of understanding about how money works is the subconscious driver of bad financial behaviors, leading to fear. A fear of not having enough money, overspending or being in debt. Money has a real emotional impact and a lack of control over the future. The antidote to this fear is to take the time to learn and educate yourself about financial literacy. Books, courses, videos and other forms of content are available to you to learn money skills like budgeting, investing, getting out of debt and more. The more empowered you become by financial literacy, the less your money story and beliefs can control you.